The Reality of Making Mom-Friends
After a few years of staying home with the kids, I couldn't wait to form real connections with other moms like me. Sure, I had friends... but those friends didn't have kids. Instead of stopping over and spending the day with me, I'd get a text every once in awhile asking how things were going. Or - the friends that also had kids were too busy to hang.
When you are an overwhelmed, stay-at-home mom of young kids, you have a slew of obstacles that emerge. Making 'Mom-Friends' is one of them. Forming a connection and keeping in touch is suddenly difficult and you feel like you have no social life (I know, I know!)
Once the kids got into gymnastics, swimming classes, music classes, and school , I had ample opportunities to meet other moms - but why wasn't I?! I was polite, made conversations, admired and talked about their kids, and smiled a lot. [What else does it take?!] I did exchange a few texts and Facebook messages but those connections fizzled out.
Why some mom-friends just won't work out
Unfortunately, some friendships don't last. Some friendships never flourish. That can be because:
* People flake out (they get busy, busy schedule, etc.)
* Connections need more than small talk
* Some parents are picky about their child's friends
* No similar interests other than being a Momma
But you know what? That's okay! The joy of having kids .. is more kids! You will have so many more opportunities to meet other parents - trust me!
Here is what I have found to work when building a connection with other Moms
You want someone to get you and understand what's going on in your life, that's why mom-friends are so awesome! They totally get it! Build a connection early on. Talk like you've known them for a while and be sure to be engaged and interested in the conversation.
I know that life can get crazy and unpredictable and we some times have to ditch our plans, but we cannot let this become a habit. Don't bale out on the set play date or coffee time if you honestly don't have to. That will just send a bad message, you know?
Small talk will only get you so far. Open up and share your interests and find out theirs! Talk about something you guys have in common, other than parenting!
Try not to focus entirely on their parenting style or methods. Unless it comes down to something you just cannot wrap your head around, let it slide. Take the time to understand their point of view and focus on something else. (I totally understand there are times when you just can't take it anymore and have to break the tie, I've been there, done that).
Sometimes, just one simple connection or friendship is all we need as we try to survive this (sometimes crazy) Mom journey!
